Rhine-Gold To celebrate my wife’s retirement from her primary employment she expressed a desire to take a European river cruise. Unlike my usual aversion to globetrotting, this trip looked promising for several reasons. One is because she’s still working her secondary job at United Airlines, so the transportation to Europe would cost nothing. Second is that due to the expertise of “Captain Mike”, another airline employee who doubles as a travel agent, we had to do nothing to book the cruise. He handled it all, especially making the recommendation that we use Ama Waterways as the cruise line. Although this was our first experience with a river cruise I doubt very much if anything could equal the staff, service or amenities aboard the Amadante. Third, of course is that most of the cruise and ports of call would be in Germany, making for a great beer experience, since the Germans regard beer as an essential part of life, as do I! The beery aspect of the trip began on a high note as I discovered Demented Brewing Scarlet Knight on tap in the airport. United serves Goose Island brews on it’s flights, so after boarding, some Goose IPAs and 4 Star Pils were downed to make the seven hour flight more bearable. We arrived in Frankfurt in the morning and bought railroad tickets to Luxembourg City from whence we could connect to the ship. Walking around Old Town and seeing the sights and hundreds of outdoor cafes made us a little thirsty, so we stopped for drinks at Duke’s Pub and added Bofferding Pils( LOVE that name), Battin Extra and Battin Gambrinus to my beer log. The next morning we took a train to Wasserbillig , where the ship was docked on the Mosel River. We arrived a little early for checking in, but the staff offered a light lunch which included the first of many Bitburgers to be downed in the week ahead. We took advantage of the free bicycles and rode around Wasserbillig, which I soon found out is NOT the place to be if you’re thirsty. Stopping at an outdoor pub, we waited for fifteen minutes watching a waitress hustling amongst the tables and completely ignoring us. My wife gave up and went back to the ship and I biked to another outdoor pub where the waitress was more attentive but with a definite attitude. I ordered a Die Kiercher draught and she returned with a Coca-Cola. When I pointed out that I wanted a beer, she threw up her hands in exasperation and left to get the brew, which she slammed down in front of me. Since there seemed to be an aura of slamming in the air, I slammed down the Die Kiercher and got the hell out of there. Back on the ship I discovered that European river cruises don’t differ too much from typical ocean liner cruises when it comes to food. I wonder why they don’t just puree all the chow and force it into you with a bellows. One day we were offered fruhstock (breakfast) which in Germany means cold cuts and weissbier along with traditional American fare, then at 11:30 fruschoffen (sausage, pretzels and more beer). Believe it or not, after that came LUNCH, followed by a culinary tour which included stops at a bakery, a candy shop, a cafe noted for it’s curry sausage and half liters of Lowenbrau Buttenheim, from a small microbrewery owned by a friend of the owner. The best stop of the day was the Schenkerla Brewery, where all tour goers, even those who don’t like beer, were given gratis half liters of Schenkerla Rauchbier. My reputation as a beer geek caused several of the unwanted steins to be placed in front of me, and although I made a heroic attempt to prevent waste, even I couldn’t finish all the suds. To top off the day, dinner was served immediately upon our return to the ship. Touring the cities of Trier, Bernkastle, Cochen, Koblenz, Rudesheim, Mainz, Wertheim, Bamburg and Wurzburg included wine tastings at three different venues so my wife’s boredom with the beery aspects of the trip was somewhat alleviated. The visiting of Cathedrals, museums, and other places of interest was pleasantly interspersed with stops at outdoor pubs and cafes which allowed me to add thirty eight new brews to my log. Such wonderful Teutonic names as Kapuziner Kellerbier, Wurzburger Hofbrau, Zischke Dunkel Kellerbier, Kausen Weissbier Hell, and Distelhauser Helles made their way onto the list. Sailing to Wertheim included a glass blowing demonstration by a man who could have been the German counterpart of Donald Trump. His artistic creations were accompanied by frequent and lengthy dissertations on the evils of governmental regulations with special emphasis on the incompetence of Angel Merkel. Since most of us were from the US, he admonished the audience for having elected Barack Obama TWICE!. We arrived at Wertheim without having any politically correct police making any arrests and after walking around town for a bit we went back to the ship where Judy took a nap while I opted for a bike tour. I was up for a nap as well, but the bike tour promised a stop at an authentic German biergarten. The guy leading the tour must have been a former six day bicyclist. We took off at a healthy pace, increasing steadily and slowing only to go up the many hills. Mercifully, the biergarten appeared just as I was about to drop. And what a garden! It seemed like about an acre of long tables on a floor of gravel with many trees providing shade and six or seven tap handles to fill your choice of mass(full liter) or half. I cheerfully selected a liter of Augustines Helles and sat down with fellow bikers from the trip to happily discover that two of the female bikers had been too enthusiastic in their selection of liters. After taking a sip or two they realized their thirst was not quite so bad as they thought and their almost full steins were slid over to yours truly. Absolutely the best part of the trip was the Saturday afternoon spent on the upper deck and seeing scores of castles on the Rhine. Due to the low bridges on some parts of the cruise the upper observation deck was often closed to passengers, lest they get decapitated while enjoying the sights. But the Rhine segment of the cruise encountered no low bridges, so we lunched and downed more than a few Erdinger Weissbiers, local Reislings and Rudesheim coffees while enjoying the beauty of the home of the Lorelei. One interesting edifice we passed was the Kloster- Schenke Church/pub. The narrator pointed out that this was a church whose only entry and egress was through the attached pub. Sounds like a great way to summon up religious zeal for lapsed Catholics. Have a mass after Mass! Sadly, we reached the end of our portion of the cruise in Nuremberg at 6:00am, and thanks to the efficiency of German railroads and transatlantic jets, we were back in Newark at 3:40pm. But a beer lover not only pairs beer with food. He also pairs it with pleasant experiences , so it was off to the liquor store to pick up some Bitburger to remind me of the wonderful time aboard the Amadante! Cheers! Dan |
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