ADVENTURES IN BEERLAND
Vince Capano
is an award winning
member of the North
American Guild of Beer
Writers.  His column
Adventures in Beerland
is now a regular feature of
BeerNexus.com
Sign of the Z
It’s hard not to admire someone who can knock down a flight of six glasses each filled with five ounces of craft beer in
about 30 seconds, under the bright lights of national TV no less.  It’s even harder not to respect someone who holds
the Guinness world’s record for using a saber to open champagne bottles at 51 in one minute.  And it’s downright
impossible not to totally love the one guy who is the singular ambassador of drinking to the world along with being
2020’s Craft Beer Marketing’s Man of the Year.  There is only one who has done all that. He is Zane Lamprey.  

There’s no doubt that if there’s a competition for most enviable person on the planet, Zane Lamprey would be the
odds-on favorite to win.  An election upset would be impossible especially since I have an ample supply of phony
mail-in ballots left over from the last election.  For well over a decade, Zane’s job has entailed two basic things: travel
and drink. Joining him in many of his adventures are buddies Steve McKenna, and Pleepleus.  Steve’s name has
become synonymous with high levels of intoxication. As Zane explained, "You’re buzzed if you get the courage to talk
to someone that you wouldn’t talk to when you’re sober. You’re drunk if you try to kiss someone that you wouldn’t talk
to when you’re sober. And you’re “Steve McKenna’d” if after talking to and kissing that person you lick their face".  
As for Pleepleus, he’s a stuffed toy monkey.  Once you say that there’s not much more to add.

Zane, a mild-mannered comedian, actor, writer, producer by day he becomes a TV drinking star by night…and day.  
He has built a career as a drinking traveler. Or maybe a traveling drinker. Either way it works to the delight of his
millions of fans around the world who know him as their ‘wish I was him guy’  staring in cable network shows like
“Three Sheets” and “Drinking Made Easy.”   No need to wonder what the shows are about. The titles tell it all.   

Three Sheets remains the pinnacle and gold standard for drinking shows that travel the world.  Admittedly I don’t
know of any other.  It ran for four seasons and earned Zane a legion of fans who still revel in the 52 episodes
originally aired from 2006 to 2009 on networks like Mojo HD, FLN, Travel, and Spike. Yes, those really were
networks, of a sort.  

It’s clear that anyone who creates, writes, and produces a series featuring him drinking beer (and just about anything
else with alcohol) on the air, to the point of extreme happiness, is fearless in today’s Puritan Cosmos.  He even
details a drinking game for viewers to play during each show which today might not pass network censors or escape
social media vigilantes.  Then again, that might explain why those shows expired from the airwaves.  Not to worry,
they survive and prosper in places like Prime Video, youtube, and many others.  

I know you’re interested in the drinking game.  Who wouldn’t be? The rules are simple.  When someone in the show
burps (the show is, after all, not on  PBS) the last in your group to acknowledge it with the sign of the Z - thumb on
forehead, finger on top of head - has to drink , point out continuity issue  and someone has to drink, if Steve is
mentioned you drink, if you see Pleepleus  you drink.  If you watch the show you drink.  Supposedly the game
increased the show’s ratings dramatically.  I wonder if my column would get more readers if there was an Adventures
in Beerland drinking game?  You read the word “beer” you drink.  You see a typo you drinkk.  You come across a
punctuation error;,you.drink.;:  You can’t stand reading anymore of this, you drink.

The shows allowed Zane to travel to over 72 countries) and multiple domestic locales.  Each place has its own exotic
libations, drinking culture, and cast of characters.  And yes, Zane got paid for it. For those of us who can’t live that
dream, we at least can take pride in the fact that one representative of humanity does.  His only occupational hazard
is a hangover but with each one he can console himself by knowing he took a hit for the team.  Just another reason
why he is so adored by fans and the makers of Tylenol.

Oh, before I continue let me unequivocally state that Mr. Lamprey, BeerNexus, and I all support drinking in
moderation. No, not the bar.  The Moderation Pub closed last week because of the pandemic.  Moderation was a
wondrous place to go to have a beer.  As people say, everything is fine, in Moderation.

As to his personal imbibing Zane says, “Back at a certain point it was drinking to have fun. Now it’s more about the
discovery, the journey. It’s more about the product than the effect.”  He said that with a straight face, proving he is
also a professional comedian.

Three Sheets is more than just a drinking show, though that part is a bit subtle.  It’s a history lesson, a seminar on
indigenous alcoholic beverages, a geography treatise, and a unifying look at people who drink just like us. You won’t
see Zane focusing on the typical tourist traps.  Instead of statues of dictators, you’ll see him search out the elusive
Zubrówka, illegal in America but very popular in Poland.  Instead of a tour bus to the middle of the spring break area
of Mexico, you’ll follow him on the Tequila Train to the heart of tequila-making country.  You’ll watch him taste the
finest champagnes and cognacs in their respective regions in France and learn from master vintners about how they
are made.  I even eschewed beer for that episode and played the drinking game with the top-rated champagne I
could find for under $6.  I sprung for Andre Brut, at $5.99 for a 750ml bottle.   I knew it was a winner the minute I saw
it had a cork and not a screw off cap.

I did not emulate Zane when he had a 100-proof kaoliang infused with snake blood in Taipei or sipped Scotch that
they said cost ten thousand dollars a bottle in Scotland.  That was a dumb purchase considering he could have had
1,666.667 bottles of Andre Brut instead.  

On the shows he enjoyed a dozen varieties of vodka in Poland, traced the path of the Malbec grape from France to
Argentina, and visited a bar in Belgium that serves more than two thousand beers.  I was particularly disappointed in
that bar, despite having a lot of different shaped glasses, because not one of the two thousand beers was my
favorite one, Neshaminy Creek Shape of Hops to Come.  Because of that I had no choice but to cancel my trip to
Belgium this year and substitute Croydon, PA.  It’s an even trade-off.

My favorite part of the shows is not necessarily the educational or drinking components.  It’s the people who wander
in and out of the bars, wineries, and distilleries that Zane is visiting.  There was a guy who grabbed Zane’s beer and
downed it in seconds, a character who kept coming over to his table  to beg for  free champagne, a Dublin firefighter
who beat Zane in a (disputed) chugging contest, and an angry Jamaican rum maker who was more than livid that
Zane chugged a glass of her expensive, rare, 25 year old, world renown, rum.  And there were others, from Dukes to
doormen, vintners to winos, mixologists to just mixed up, that he meets along the way.  It’s a showcase of real people
enjoying real drink, having real fun with Zane, who is as real as any of us.   

Perhaps the most important lesson of Zane’s shows is that you can spend hundreds of dollars to go on a tour to see
the country and learn about its history but  if you were to spend that in a pub buying a few rounds and you’ll learn
much more about the people who made the land and who live the history.  According to Zane “nothing works better
as a social lubricant and to get people to open up than buying a round. You’ll get some great advice about where the
locals eat and drink, will probably get invited to hang out with them again, and will most likely make some friends for
life.”  Zane, next time you’re in the area buy me a few rounds and I’ll be happy to do all of that for you.

In December 2020 Zane was named Craft Beer's Marketing’s Man of the Year.  Considering all he’s done for beer
drinking the award was long overdue.  However, since this was the first time the award was ever given, I can overlook
that.  Zane, too, in his acceptance speech harbored no rancor for not getting the award sooner as he said “"I had a
professor in college tell me that drinking beer wouldn't advance my career. He was wrong!" Zane laughed, "I couldn't
be more honored to be the first Craft Beer Marketing Awards Man of the Year. I'd say I'm speechless, but as a
comedian I'm not capable of that."

In presenting the award CBMAS co-founder Jim McCune said "For over a decade, the name Zane Lamprey has been
synonymous with beer. I first saw Zane on the TV show Three Sheets, where he introduced us to libations from all
over the world. He did so with a genuine appreciation for the locals and a hilarious sense of humor that kept us
entertained."  Unfortunately, Mr. McCune was all business.  If I was giving the speech, at that point I would have
burped then immediately made the "sign of the Z".  Zane would have approved.



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click to contact Vince
April  2021
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