The Beer Medical Kit
Jim Attacap

Mankind has been studying the therapeutic value of beer for centuries. In the
hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt, the Old English of the Anglo-Saxons, the
prescriptions of Victorian Era quacks and the scientific jargon of modern medical
journals, beer emerges as the eternal cure for many health problems.  Here are
some of the "medicinal" ways, both strange and logical, that  beer
has been used in the past:  I've listed them and their source.  
BeerNexus only recommends drinking beer and not using it in any other way.

Asthma — Boil sage and fennel in sweetened ale, drink hot as needed.
Anglo-Saxon Lacugna (Remedies), 10th century.

Bleeding, therapeutic promotion of — Leeches draw blood more effectively if they're
first soaked in cold beer. The Dispensatory of the United States of America, 1885.

Boils — One ounce of beer yeast, applied three times a day.
The Dispensatory of the United States of America.

Breast cancer — Xanthohumol, a flavonoid of hops, inhibits development of
potentially carcinogenic chemical compounds. Drug Metabolism & Disposition, 2000.

Breast milk, improved quality of — In women of suitable disposition, malted liquors
such as beer, porter or stout may be used. The breast should be massaged twice
daily for five or 10 minutes. Diet in Health and Disease, 1919.

Cognition — Six beers a week reduces dementia in adults over 65.
Journal of the American Medical Association, 2003.

Constipation — Take two pennies' weight of the inside of bitter cucumber, remove
seeds and pound in light beer. Give this to drink. It will move the bowels.
Old English Herbarium, 10th century.

Heart disease — Four glasses of beer daily increases HDL (good) cholesterol.
Journal of Lipid Research, 2001.

Hypertension — One beer per day reduces blood pressure.
Nurses' Health Study, 2009.

Constipation — Mix half an onion in the froth of beer. Drink it. This is also a delightful
remedy against death. Ebers Papyrus, 1550 BCE.

Halitosis — A draught of wormwood beer, taken every morning, is a certain remedy
for stinking breath. It likewise cures dimness of fight by antipathy.
English Physician, Nicholas Culpeper, 1652.

Hiccups — Pound yarrow roots, soak in good beer, drink lukewarm.
Old English Herbarium.

Kidney stones — Each bottle of beer consumed per day reduces risk of stones by
40 %. American Journal of Epidemiology, 1998.

Labor pains — A mixture of saffron and beer massaged into a woman's abdomen will
reduce childbirth discomfort. Ebers Papyrus.

Long life — Cod-liver oil floating in spoonful of brandy and water plus one pint
Scotch ale daily. Medical Times and Gazette, 1852.

Osteoporosis — Two glasses of beer daily provide enough dietary silicon to promote
bone density. Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture, 2010.

Stroke — One beer per day decreases the risk of suffering a stroke by 20 percent.
The New England Journal of Medicine, 1999.

Syphilis — A decoction of the tops of hops will open obstructions of the liver and
spleen, cleansing the blood, loosening the belly, expelling the gravel and provoking
urine while curing the "French disease." Culpeper.

Tremors — One to three fluid drams of Tinctura Lupuli (hops soaked in alcohol).
The Dispensary of the United States of America. - SPECIAL REPORT
Prescription: beer