==Bruce "Dr. of Beer" Davis ==
| BeerNeus is most happy to welcome the acclaimed writer/
beer expert Bruce Davis as a special guest contributor.
Or Watt’s In A Name?
Craft brewers are getting more and more inventive and imaginative with naming of their
new products. Every time I venture in to another outlet and peruse the shelves, I find
another hit, at least name-wise. I often wonder, what were they thinking? But then I
remember, they were probably drinking their own products before, during and after the
We’re all familiar with Arrogant Bastard from Stone, which my wife swears was named
after me. Raging Bitch from Dogfish Head is another relative oldie but goodie,
apparently named in response to my wife’s comments!
But lately, brewers are getting more and more creative and daring. Take for instance the
offering from Woodland Empire. It is a classic lambic style named after a place we’ve all
been at one time or another, Upschitt Kriek! Then there was the recent collaboration
between Bolero Snort and Icarus, a New England style IPA with a touch of blueberry
which according to Former Press Secretary Scaramucci must have been Steve Bannon’s
favorite beer, appropriately enough called I Just Blue Myself! There’s the American IPA
out of Pearl Street that’s straight out of the rap videos and likely dedicated to Jennifer
Lopez called Rumpshaker IPA, which would never be found anywhere near Stickman
Brews’ Fat Guy In Suspenders, but might be paired with Tequesta’s Notorious B.I.G.!
Hey, you never know?
I’m not sure you could get me to even try something called Goat Boy, from Southern
Tier, although I love their other beers. Something about that name just weirds me out!
Speaking of weirded out, what’s with Splish, from Grimm Artisanal Ales, or Climbing
Through Windows, from More Brewing. And what the hell are Snoochie Boochies? Don’t
know? Me either! Ask the folks at Forbidden Root Restaurant and Brewery, they make it!
I’ve personally had several pints of Whistling Pig from Jasper Murdock’s in Norwich,
Vermont, though I’ve never met a whistling pig. [Insert your own inappropriate joke
here!] Talk about needing beer goggles! Maybe they had Oskar Blues Fugli in mind when
they came up with that one. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a Hopadillo (Karbach
Brewing) either, but I haven’t been to Texas yet. For the ladies, there’s always a Stud-
Finder (Iron Duke) if you need one! Those beer goggles may or may not help with
Fuzzy, from Side Project Brewing. I guess they weren’t real sure what to label it. Nor
was Tree House clear about their marketing strategy when they put out their Very Hazy
Who killed the coconuts and were they aptly punished is the question I want answered!
I guess we’ll have to ask the folks at Drekker, who make the American IPA called
Coconut Killer. I would definitely ask because nothing can be Taken For Granite (Magic
Many a times I could have used some Mettle (Trillium) to test my own mettle. Where
beer is concerned, I’m sometimes found lacking. Snake River’s Eclipse Ale would have
been perfect on August 21st, 2017. Or Unwind Your Mind on any of the Woodstock
anniversaries! (And a completely separate shout-out for the totally awesome literary
reference and brewery name of that same beer, Hop Butcher For The World! Major
props from this English teacher!) I’d guess you’ll find no Lexical Gap (Pollyanna) there!
Now I’ve heard of hair of the dog, in fact I’ve experienced it once or twice myself, but
Hammer of the Beast? Clown Shoes must think it would help…something! Cigar City
stays a bit non-committal with their Life Is Like…, which lets you decide for yourself.
Forest Gump would have had an answer!
Ever met a Level Headed Blonde (Huske Hardware House)? Me neither. You might need
the beer goggles again. But if you do, be careful or you may be called Fresh (Civil
Society) or end up with a Love Child #8 (Boulevard), neither of which would be good,
situations not the beers. Use the sweet sounds of a little Haulin’ Oats Stout (Redhook)
to win her over! And I’ll let you choose among being a Panty Peeler (Midnight Sun), a
Leg Humper (Thirsty Dog), or a Polygamy Porter (Wasatch), any of which might result in
a case of Alimony Ale (Buffalo Bill).
You can apparently drive All Day IPA (Founders) from Exit One (Flying Fish) to Exit 63
(Full Sail) along with your Fast Friends (Root Down Brewing) past Keith’s Korner
(Perennial Artisanal Ales) and still never run into Shooter McGavin (Barrel Theory) or
Rose Gose (Bent Brewstillery). Just don’t do so after a few or you may get stopped by
the Voodoo Ranger (New Belgium) and charged with Substance Abuse (Terrapin),
especially if you’ve had a Smells Like Weed (Dark Horse) or two!
On another note, I really want to meet all these people who have beers named after
them. Who are these people? I assume that we all know Anna, Clara, Dorothy, Earl,
Peleg and others (Hill Farmstead) are ancestors of the brewer, but does anyone know
who Julius (Tree House) or Matt (Hair of the Dog)are? Is Mr. Kite (Ocelot) named for
the Beatles song, or somebody else? And which wood is Adam From The Wood (Hair of
the Dog) from anyway?
But when I face that ultimate reckoning and they ask me what I’ll have for the final “last
call,” Rapture (Weyerbacher) or Wooden Hell (Flossmoor Station), I’ll just answer Maybe
Both? (Kent Falls). Who knows, maybe I’ll get all three?
That’s all for now from this Blithering Idiot (Weyerbacher)!