Editor's note - Dan recently went to a local brewery
and his poem is a result of that visit.

The Charge of the Flight Brigade
(Apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Half a liter, half a liter
Half a liter onward.
All in the brewery of Death
Strode the Beer Hunter
"Forward the Flight Brigade
Charge for the tuns" he said.
Into the brewery of death strode the Beer Hunter

"Forward the Flight Brigade"
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the hunter knew
Someone had blundered.
His to sip an ale of rye
His is not to reason why
His but to try and die.
Into the brewery of Death strode the Beer Hunter.

Growlers to the right of him
Firkins to the left of him
Large fermenters in front of him
Poured and bottled
Stormed at by flight and pint
Boldly he strode, and well
Into his jaws with Death
Into his mouth with hell.
Into the brewery of Death
Strode the Beer Hunter.

Growlers to the right of him
Firkins to the left of him
Fermenters behind him
Poured and bottled
Dispensed not well
While Hunter from his barstool fell
Onto the floor of brewery hell
All that was left of him
Unfinished flight on the bar above him
Never a man had tried so well.
So died the Beer Hunter

When can his glory fade?
O the heroic attempt he made
Reporting on the horrors tasted
So others' time might not be wasted.
Honor the sacrifice he made
Honor the glory of the Flight Brigade
Noble Beer Hunter


Editor's note - Dan visited this brewery once and found it less
that sterling.  Being a fair individual he visited a second time
and this is his review:

Hey've done it!!! Despite facing overwhelming odds,
this brewery has succeeded! They have achieved the
pinnacle of success! No one could have possibly thought
that they would make drinkable beer, but this place has
surpassed those beliefs. They have gotten WORSE!

A four beer fight consisted of:
1. Kolsch.....watery with hints of fermented yak urine
2. Vienna Lager.....the only thing Vienna about this
concoction is that the nose reminded me of an
underground men's room I used in Vienna.
3. Imperial IPA........In this instance IPA doesn't stand
for India Pale Ale. Rather it means It's Pathetic Ain't it.
4. Black IPA.... You really can't say "best of the lot". The
"least worst" would be more suitable.

To top it off, while I was looking for something into
which I could surreptitiously pour these "beers", the
bartender, in an attempt to strike up a conversation,
pointed to the fermenter over my right shoulder and
said "That's where the magic begins". Just before I skied
out of there, a woman came in and excitedly ordered a
Kolsch, according to her, her favorite beer. I wondered
how ANYBODY could POSSIBLY like that stuff and then
answered my own question: She resembled a yak.


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glasses up
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has to say
these things
and it could
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