“XXX Rated Beer"

Usually, when referring to “XXX” as it relates to the beer
world, Ballantine’s famous XXX  ale comes to mind, but
after a couple of pints of “America’s Largest Selling Ale”,
one’s thoughts might wander to other, more modern
meanings of the XXX designation.

Some present day brewers and marketers have subtly
turned to double entendres and profanity in order to
generate more sales. I decided to do a little research on
the subject to see just how far the limits of decency can
be stretched to sell beer.

Cable television and even broadcast channels have done
much toward making profanity everyday household
words and apparently beer barons have taken
advantage of this lowering of standards. All craft beer
guys love Stone’s Arrogant Bastard, Double Bastard,
and Oaked Bastard ales, but after too many pints some
have been known to morph from “nice guys” into
“arrogant  bastards”.

Taking this use of a bad word even further, Founder’s
Brewing Company offers us Dirty Bastard and
Backwoods Bastard ales. Since “backwoods” bastards
are often unwashed, I wonder what separates the
“dirty” from the “backwoods”?  Flying Dog Brewery
(more about them, later) is not to be outdone in the
use of beer profanity. Their Scottish Porter, features a
Scottie dog with the accompanying slogan “Good dog….
no shit!” They also proudly offer “Lucky SOB” ale which
leaves nothing to the imagination and the renowned
“Raging Bitch” Belgian IPA. At this time it is
undetermined whether too many Raging Bitches or not
enough Raging Bitches turn a female beer geek into a
raging bitch.  

If Long Trail Brewing Company, purveyors of Double
Bag and Triple Bag ales, ever decide to latch onto the
profane marketing strategy, I suppose that “Scumbag
Ale” will be included in its portfolio.

Private parts are not to be forgotten in our review of
formerly taboo beer names. “Aass” beer from Norway,
Ridgeway’s “Santa’s Butt” and Leinenkugel’s “Big Butt
Doppelbock” all make reference to the human posterior.
But no brewery does it better than Butternuts Brewing
Company’s “Heinieweiss Hefeweizen”. It’s politically
incorrect to refer to the Bavarian originators of this
style as “Heinies” so the “Heinieweiss” name must allude
to something else and I think I’ve figured out what it is.
While enjoying a taste of this brew at the recent New
York TAP beer festival I observed a very pretty and
curvaceous girl also savoring a Butternuts brew. I
remarked to a drinking companion “I wonder what she’s
drinking”? to which he replied “She’s got a nice heinie
(weiss)”. Agreed!  

Moving from the back to the front we have Chicago’s
Price Brewery’s  “Camel Toe” Egyptian Pale Ale (I
suspect the “Egyptian” was only added to get by the
censors at ATF) and Colorado’s Pagosa Brewing’s  
Nipple Mountain barleywine. Wilkes Barre’s Golden
Beverage Nude Beer featured nude girls on the label. If
you weren’t particularly fond of the beer you could
always amuse yourself by looking at the labels.

Young’s “Dirty Dick’s Ale, Arcadia’s “Big Dick’s Olde Ale”
and Minhas Brewery’s “Big Dick Beer” lead me to wonder
why Jeremy Cowan of Schmaltz Brewery hasn’t yet
introduced a “dick themed” brew. All of his Chosen
beers are Jewish oriented (Jewbilation Ale,  Genesis Ale,
Messiah Bold, eg) so why not tie in the big dick idea with
a mohel? Perhaps “Briss Brown Ale” would be a big seller.

A previous “Beer My Way” article, (
Beerz in the Hood)
made reference to the sexual connotations of malt
liquor advertising as in Midnight Dragon’s “I could suck
this all night” slogan and St. Ide’s advisement to “get
her in the mood quicker and get your Jimmy thicker with
St. Ide’s Malt Liquor”, but craft brewers come very close
to that level of sexual innuendo. Flying Dog’s “Old
Scratch Amber Lager” advertises that “some itches can’t
be scratched, like your fantasy involving latex and
flavored lotions”. The same brewery also sells  “Pearl
Necklace” , requiring a little thought, and “Doggie Style
Ale” (right to the point!) as well as “In heat Hefeweizen”.

Foothills Brewing’s “Sexual Chocolate Stout” hits you
right in the face with its Afro wearing, sultry black girl on
the label. Sweetwater Brewing’s “Big Old Belgian Blue
Balls” and Horny Goat Brewing’s “Horny Blonde” allude
to the need for sexual release and Sweetwater answers
the call with its “Summer Hummer Ale”, marketed with
the slogan “Everybody loves a hummer”.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania, in the heart of Dutch
Country, has been the source of many jokes over the
years, so it’s only natural that the Intercourse Brewing
Company offers Blue Ball Porter, Bareville Pilsner,
Paradise Pale Ale, and Mount Joy Light, all named after
towns in the vicinity. The sexual allusions are up to the
reader.

As long as we’re discussing Intercourse, the perfect end
to this piece is a bit about Foecking Beer (umlaut over
the “o”). Some years ago the Dubuque Star Brewery
contract brewed Foecking Beer which used the
advertising come-on “You look like you need a
Foecking”.  It was a great seller(at least with me). I used
to love to ask visitors if they would like a Foecking beer
or remark to friends “This is a good Foecking beer”.  
The other possibilities were limitless, such as this beer is
“unbeFoeckinglievable” or “Give me another Foecking
bottle”. Unfortunately Foecking beer is no longer
available, so I can’t close by saying I’m off to get a
Foecking beer.

I’ll probably have to settle for a Miserable Prick IPA!


Cheers!

Dan
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