| Vince Capano is a two time winner of the prestigious Quill and Tankard writing award for humor from the North American Guild of Beer Writers. Vince's column is now a regular feature of beernexus.com Check back often for the next installment of Vince's Adventures in Beerland |
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| The Mug Club by Vince Capano One hundred and thirty eight. Count’em. One hundred and thirty eight prodigious vessels of prestige, pride and poetic expression. There they hung, directly in front of me, on suspended racks behind the bar. An eye pleasing green / gray, the mugs belonged to members of Washington NJ's Libertine Brew Pub’s “Mug Club”. Numbered, personalized, and most significantly holding 20 ounces instead of the usual 16, they were each uniquely decorated by its owner. While the quality of the decorations seemed to be in direct proportion to the level of the “artists” state of sobriety at the time of creation, the phalanx of mugs was nonetheless an impressive testimony of the commitment of the pub’s patrons to the brewer’s output. If you’re unfamiliar with the general mug club concept here it is. For a yearly fee, usually around $50-$75, your local brewpub will not only fill that gloriously larger mug of yours for the regular price (those extra 4 ounces can add up), you’ll also get food discounts too- on selected weekdays only. Naturally. Some pubs will also include a once a year “mug retirement party” after which you take the treasured goblet home with you for the first time. Truly a grand keepsake of the prior 12 months of beer filled bliss. The real question is, of course, can it possibly be that a mug clubber gets to drink more beer for less money? Is it too good to be true or is mug club membership that rare “real deal”? Clearly this was a problem worthy of the most careful research and expert mathematical quantitative study. I discovered that there are 16 ounces in a pint and two pints in a quart; that 4 imperial pints are more than an entire six pack, while one standard growler is less than half a gallon. Now, at a cost of $4.75 per pint at the bar, $12 for a growler, and $7.99 for a six pack, the value of the larger mug’s increased capacity has to be factored in with one’s drinking proclivities, the day of the week, frequency of visits, and of course, the wind chill factor. Ah, but statistics alone do not tell the tale. Only after keen, insightful interpretation and sage analysis of each of these factors individually and as a synergistic whole was I able to brilliantly arrive at the solution. I can now unequivocally state that the clear answer to the question is, ah….maybe. I doubt however that economic benefit is the main motivation in deciding to join a mug club. In fact, most members would probably pay the club tariff even if the club mug were 4 ounces smaller in size than the standard guy off the street serving size. There are powers more significant than money at play here. The true value of mug club membership has nothing to do with bargains or quantity; it’s all about prestige and power. What a feeling of omnipotence it must be to walk into the pub and point towards your very own personal mug on display. Imagine the sighs of pure admiration and the knowing nods of respect as you proceed to bark out your number and beer order: “Mug #23. IPA.” On such occasions I’ve seen even strong men, albeit non-members, put down their pedestrian plain pint glasses and be moved to applause. Since the racks of displayed mugs often reach to the ceiling, some sort of elongated curved retrieval device (otherwise called a stick) is needed. The effort of finding the correct mug and then using said device only adds to the drama and aura of the ordering ritual. One school of thought seems to hold that in finding the requested mug the bartender should slowly stroll along the racks repeating its number loudly to notify the other patrons that a club member is in their presence. The other believes that he should memorize the entire rack grid, go instantly to the correct location, and then announce the number. Ah, nothing like bitter controversy to further ratchet up the stakes as we approach the final hurdles. It is in the next step that the tale is really told. Now the mug must be removed from its curved wall elevation support projection (known in the beer trade as a hook). The bartender’s need for dexterity and finesse is crucial. It is a significant responsibility. One slip, one shaky moment of indecision and disaster awaits. I’m sure many a new bartender’ s career has been cut short due to exceeding acceptable mug destruction levels. Maybe if he just got on a stool and reached up. Oh well. When the deftly retrieved mug is safely and securely placed under the appropriate tap one final sensation awaits the mug club member. His ceramic vessel, unlike the glass pint, fills with a discernable, wondrous sound. A plop, plop, gurgle, gurgle echoes from the depths of his oversized goblet as the golden elixir rushes to the top. It is a sublime moment indeed. Of course there can be some minor problems even in the nirvana that is a mug club. The mug numbers are usually assigned on first come, first serve basis. And to make it even worse, that number is yours for one year only after which it’s the sign up rat race all over again. Case in point. I chatted with a forlorn soul at the end of the bar who lamented his assignment of mug #36. It seems he was convinced his lucky number was 19. Always has been he said. Last year and the year before he had mug number 19, he had worn #19 in Little League, always plays multiples of #19 in the lottery, and in fact has scored 19 points in a high school intramural basketball game 19 years earlier. Sadly, this year he was nineteen minutes late for sign ups and look what happened. I gave him my sympathies but quickly decided to move on since I realized that it was likely he was also on his 19th beer of the day and that one of two things were bound to happen next. His distress would probably be forgotten with beer #20 eliminating any more human pathos for this story or the bartender would cut him off possibly tainting me with guilt by association. So there it is. The mug club story. Perhaps one day every pub will have a mug club. Perhaps one day there will be a universal mug club for those of us not blessed to have one at our local pub. Until then, well, at least we can all hope that the proprietors of our favorite bar read this and understand that there’s no club like a mug club. -------- |
| The Mug Club by Vince Capano |
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