INVESTING FOR YOUR
RETIREMENT:
If you had purchased $1000.00 of
Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.
With Enron,
you would have had $16.50
left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom,
you would have had less than
$5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00
worth of Beer one year ago,
drank all the beer,
then turned in the cans for the
aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above,
current investment advice is to
drink heavily and
recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg Plan!
Beer Bandit
Frederiction, Canada. A truck driver who
sent a birthday card to an ex-girlfirend signed
"the beer bandit" was recently found guilty of
stealing a shipment of 50,000 cans of
Moosehead beer.
The jury deliberated for about 90 minutes
before convicting Wade Haines, whose only
defense was that he loved Moosehead.
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Beer and Beards
According to a recent survey the majority
of men with beards are beer drinkers.
Now you bearded beer geeks can officially
register your facial hair. Go to
http://www.nationalbeardregistry.org/
beards/beards.asp
(submitted by nexus reader- threeringale)
D'oh! A woman has pleaded guilty to
selling on eBay three nonexistent cases of
Duff brand beer -- the favorite of cartoon
character Homer Simpson.
Tara Edith Woodford, 28, pleaded guilty
Wednesday to three charges of dishonestly
gaining money by false pretenses.
Simpson's producers say they would never
allow Duff to be officially licensed.
Him Fired!
Mardi Crawl on Main Street, a
newspaper photographer asked a group
of revelers to pose for a picture. The
only problem was that a man holding a
Bud Light worked for a Miller distributor.
"I was just having a good time," Aguero
said.
Aguero said when he went to work on
the day his picture hit the paper, the place
was abuzz.
"When I came in, they said, 'You're in
trouble for drinking Bud Light,'" Aguero
said.
Then, his boss gave him the ax.
Dave Barry-
Drink plenty of fluids ('fluids' is the
medical term for 'beer')
Remember "I" before "E", except in
Budweiser.
Elizabeth Taylor -
Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under
any goddamn table you want, so don't
worry about me.
Humphrey Bogart -
I never should have switched from beer
to Scotch and from Scotch to Martinis.
