Semi-Humorous Beer Jokes    
by Alan Bolton


Hi Bob -  I sometimes think that we craft beer people get just too
serious about beer.  Now don't get me wrong, knowing about beer
and how to serve it are important to the overall enjoyment of this
great beverage.  Still you should be able to laugh a bit about beer.  So
here are a few jokes that will definitely get funnier the more you drink.

A person who is a  novice in the world of craft beer is enjoying a
delightful saison.  He turns to his beer geek buddy and asks: "What
style of beer is this?"  His buddy says: "Saison".  The novices replies:
"son, but what style is it?"  The expert repeats: "Saison" to which the
novice repeats "son, but what style is it?"  Ah, that's the joke Bob.  
Hey, I bet you didn't laugh at Who's On First either.

I'll try another one.  If you were drinking a wit beer and you finished
half of your pint, would it be fair to say you're a half-wit?

If you finished the entire pint would you be witless?

I'll pause while your laughing.

Did you know you can actually buy beer out of a machine in Japan.  
Well, I guess change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

One bar I frequent always seems to have some sort of wagering going
on.  Most times the bets are simple in which I have an even chance of
winning.  But I've found that there's a special 50-50-90 rule that
always applies to me : any time I have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability I'll get it wrong.

I one time got a ticket for drinking beer in public.  I plead not guilty
and demanded a trial of my peers.  It was then I realized I was  
putting myself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart
enough to get out of jury duty.

Revelation - spilling a full beer you just paid for is the adult
equivalent  of letting go of a balloon.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of Stone IPA instead of one.

Here's a question that has always perplexed me: If you can't drink
and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy beer?

I'd like to pass along something I've learned over my years  of hanging
out at bars to all Bob's readers - Money can't buy happiness. Just
kidding yes it can, if that money is used to buy beer.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink
my beer in front of a mirror.

Some things are better left unsaid, but I'll probably have one
too many beers and say them anyways

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.  (I know that has nothing to do with
beer but I'm running out of ideas.)

So there you have it.  Hope you enjoyed my contribution.
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Thanks for your article Alan.  It's certainly one of the most unusual
ones ever submitted here.  And yes, I almost chuckled.... once.  
Oh, just kidding.  It was a lot of fun. Great job!  
Please send in another one soon - I really enjoyed it!

I'd like to  invite everyone to send me their own columns about anything
related to beer/drinking/booze just as John did. I select the best and
publish them here.  So join in and get writing.
Cheers!
Bob
BeerNexus proudly presents

Bob Montemurro
"the ombudsman of beer"

Bob and Friends Speak of Beer......


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